Week 54... Mandarin 1rst Ward

The Refiners Fire... 

Hello everyone!! 

Prepare yourself for an overly dramatic email from your favorite sister missionary!! 

Wooohooohoo! Cue the soap opera music! Dim the lights and here we gooooo!!! 

There are 6 words that missionaries despise. 6 words that will cause the most anxiety, the most worry, the most frustration and possibly the most insanity to rage in the heart of a missionary. 

Those words are "so.. I looked on the Internet..." 

Despite me warning him a billion times that the Internet contains lies about the church those 6 words came out of John’s mouth this past week. 

*hitsheadagainstwall* 

As a consequence to that John "antied" himself this past week. It was probably one of the most disappointing things I've ever experienced. The simple fact is that most of my investigators have been antied. But I feel especially heartbroken over John because I fought so. Hard. For him. So many tears and prayers. I had my little John plant and I nurtured it and I watered it and it was growing quite beautifully and then someone (whose name happens to be satan) comes along with weed killer and destroys it. And the little plant withers! So you panic!!! You start dumping water on it! You feed it all the miracle grow it can handle! You sit there and beg for it to grow!! But alas.. Even after drowning it in miracle grow and your tears, your efforts are in vain because the little plant doesn't want to grow anymore. 

*continuestohitheadagainstwall*

There really is no word that describes the desperation that accompanies those moments where investigators say they believe all the lies they read on the Internet. Watching someone's testimony die is probably one of the saddest things I've experienced out here. This makes sense because, one of the happiest things I’ve experienced out here is seeing people’s testimony of the gospel grow and flourish. I think it was especially hard because I knew that there wasn't a single thing I could do about it to help him anymore. And that it was all out of my control. I begged for him to read the Book of Mormon and to pray about it. He said he would.. But at that point he had already been so poisoned by what he read that God wouldn't give him an answer. He now is trying to convince us that we are deceived. 

So this week was a little hard for me!! Like a lot hard. Bless my companion’s heart... She handled this basket case like a champ!!! I love her so much and I couldn't have survived without her by my side, patting my head telling me that it was going to be okay and that it just wasn't his time. 

I have learned a lot though... And I would much rather focus on the good things that have happened because of this instead of focusing on how sulky it is. I am trying to endure it well!

*stops hitting head against wall*

So! Bullet point time! Of things Sister Chamberlain has learned. . . . *clears throat*  
1) I will never ever ever take for granted my testimony of the restored gospel. That testimony is one of thee most precious things I own, if not the most precious. I am so blessed to know the truth. I am also so incredibly blessed that my family has a testimony of the gospel! 

2) God is in charge. Let Him be in charge. Let Him take control. It's His work anyways.

3) Satan is very real. And he is angry. And bitter. And will do anything to keep us from going back home to our Heavenly Father. 

4) Loving people hurts, especially when they disappoint you. But that does not mean you should stop loving them. It probably means you should love them more!! 

5) Trust that Gods plan is better than your plan. His timing is infinitely better than yours. (If I was in charge of timing I would've screwed everything up a loooong time ago) he sees the full picture and even though it's hard to accept his will, things will be better if you do. 

6) I know the Book of Mormon is true with every ounce of my soul. It is the word of God and Joseph Smith is the prophet of the restoration. This solidified my testimony of the restoration. It is so true! 

7) When things don't turn out your way... Don't panic. Don't worry. CALM DOWN. It just means God has better plans. 

8) Contention accomplishes nothing. 

9) Discouragement is satan’s greatest tools against missionaries!

10) The atonement of Jesus Christ can heal any broken heart and change it into a heart more like his own. 

I want to expound on this last one. I did not take this very well, at all. I was SOO bitter towards all parties. I beat myself up, I beat John up, I beat up everyone. (Except my companion.. She is an angel and I just love her) I was so bitter! But I can testify to you that Jesus Christ's atonement changed my heart. He changed mine from one that was broken, bitter, and full of doubt and worry, to a heart full of charity and faith in a Gods timing. Now, I'm still a l'il bummed. But that's okay.. The missionaries in the Book of Mormon got a l'il bummed too when they were rejected. But will I let it discourage me any longer? No. I know and I have full faith that the Lord will take care of John. I know he loves him infinitely more than I do. And I know one day John will be baptized into the church and I am so stinkin’ excited for that day. I know it will happen. :) God won't give up on him. He is such a good man and has very strong faith. He will get there one day. :) 

I said to a member.. "I'm so glad Gods on our side!" And she said.. "No.. Aren't YOU glad we are on HIS side" AMEN TO THAT SISTA. This is God’s work, I feel like he has been trying to teach me this for ages. Haha. 

As a side note.. I hate anti with a burning passion of a million suns. It is of the devil and is designed to destroy faith. Don't read it. Don't listen to it. Don’t watch it. Don't worry about it. It's not worth it. 

SO THAT WAS MY WEEK. I love being a missionary, even when it's hard. I was so stretched and tried this week and honestly I am SO grateful the week is over. I'm ready for a new week. On the bright side...we found a new gator!!! Named John!! See? The Lord makes up for your losses! 

AND we were able to reactivate a recent convert! AND we were able to find a whole family to teach!

Actually we found 3 families to teach!!! Whoa! One of them was really excited to tell us that her parents had been sealed in a Mormon temple and she was married in a Mormon church. We also found out that we have been teaching her daughter Dana family history. We also found out that we have been inviting her other daughter Shannon to church for about a month. I think Heavenly Father wants this family sealed together forever.  And we got a return appointment with this cute family of 3 we are seeing tonight!  AND… John (The one who got antied) still came to watch us missionaries sing in a fireside. So at least he still talks to us. 

Miracles abound even in the deepest disappointments. I know that Gods hand is in this work and I am so thankful that he lets me.. Stubborn Sister Chamberlain help Him accomplish his purposes. :) 

Sorry for the semi-depressive/soap opera-esque email... But I had to get all these feels out somewhere!! 

Next week is transfers and Sister Toledo is going home. :( I can't believe it's already been 6 weeks!!! I WILL MISS HER SO MUCH. Well, next P-day will be Tuesday! I hope to hear from all of you! I'll probably be transferred seeing that I've been in Mandarin for 7 1/2 months and they are closing down one area in mandarin. So. Yeah. Stay tuned for Sister Chamberlains exciting mission life!! 

This next week will be so full of miracles that ole hairy legs will have to crawl back into his little hole and stay there! HaHA!!!! 

I love you all so much. Thank you for your support and your letters and everything. I really REALLY appreciate it. 

Have a glorious week. All the glories! 

Love,

Sister Chamberlain  :) 

P.s. I counted how many bug bites I had on my legs this week and I counted 107. I've never had the inclination to saw my legs off. . . But I had that desire this week. Just thought I would let all y’all know.